Pandering Corporations: they’re after the gay dollar

The Gays Are In!

 

That’s right, have you heard? The gays are in! Kids love the gays. And if the kids love the gays so do the advertisement oligarchs for every major company. Budweiser, asdlkjdk, aksldfj, kadf. Why are we getting so gay? For money of course.

Shick came out as Woke a couple of times now, deriding men and their toxic masculinity in an attempt to change the world for the better. What happened instead was a meme storm from the internet, apathy from the normies, and maybe three articles from people in support. Their stocks remained pretty neutral after it all.

Do we really think companies care about us? Since when did we stop hating companies like Walmart? I guess all they had to do was pander to an inclusive audience. People think they are above advertising. They also think they are naturally and into the whole woke thing not because it’s popular but because they are moralistic. Gillete “challenged masculinity” as business insider puts it, last year just before the super bowl. Their stock… pretty much remained neutral. No crybaby surge from the conservatives were strong enough to dump their stocks.

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The wet shave products are being used less and less today and smaller companies like dollar shave club are giving Gillete, P&G, and other big blade companies a run for their money. What better way to get younger people to buy their product than engaging with what all the cool hip kids like. And hey, if a guy transitions into a girl, they’ll want a good clean lgbtq+ blade to keep their face lady smooth, and women to men transgender individual will also start to buy their product too after the testosterone shots. It all seems like one big green wet dream for big money. They might even start sponsoring doctors that remove genitals by giving them rainbow Gillete blades.

A critique of these companies is not a critique of the arguments for being pro LGBT. But when an old rich man says to his employee “spend this money and say something, anything, that people like” and then we hear some grand speech on how men are treating women badly, I tend to grow apathetic at the lack of authenticity. Sorry, I don’t need a corporate entity to tell me how to live a moral life. It reminds me of when you hear speeches from criminals on why being a criminal is bad. I didn’t murder someone, you did. I didn’t even think about it. Aren’t there better people to be talking about this?

Just look at the picture of the models in tight leather with Gillette written in bold across their tight little asses. Look at those asses! Blue tight suits make me want to eat some blue. As the famous line from They Live goes, “I’m here to chew ass and eat ass… and I’m all out of things not ass.” I don’t remember, it’s been a minute since I’ve seen that movie. Anyways, so much for not objectifying women. In fact, the company was just called out for the pink tax thing all these broads are talking about. Blades of the same caliber as their male counterparts cost about three dollars more. Thanks Gillete for the equality. We should start a new trend: Men, buy your girl some man shavers. They borrow ours anyways and forget to dry them out before putting them away.

Boys will be boys, girls will be girls, gays will be gay, and companies will be companies. And no, they don’t care about you so stop praising them.  

Back to things more gay. Young gays are a great source of income. Many LGBT couples have dual income with no kids, meaning more money to spend. They call these DINKS for short(dual income no kids. But the added benefit of pandering to this base means garnering the progressives as well. So many of them seem ready to rally behind any rainbow corporation, Trump might as well change the U.S. flag to the rainbow flag and send all the gays to North Korea for war- I mean to show pride.

Want to see something really gross? Check out this picture of Clorox doing the gay nay nay. Tell me that doesn’t make you sick? I love gay people. Without the LGBT community we wouldn’t have the equality we do today, nor 3/4 the content on Hulu and Netflix.

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Aren’t you supposed to separate your colors when doing laundry? Seems to me Clorox has been pro segregation since 1913.

We should do something about this. Chickfila get’s protested, so should this. This is a gross appropriation of a movement. Let’s go back to protesting big corporations, not falling for their glittery faced ploys to have us feeding from their hands. To me, this two faced pandering is worse than what a corporation like Chickfila has done, which is to make food, be owned by a group of people with their own set standards of morality and to donate money to their own whims. Clorox makes a bleach for clothes, Gillete a blade for shaving, they aren’t your parents, so stop acting like it. Wake up and stop sipping the Clorox Pride bleach.

Derek Smith