How to not be an edgy neck beard atheist
There’s nothing wrong with being an atheist. This is for those neck beards who check mate Christians with their facts and logic. You’re not enlightened, you’re just another human with opposing viewpoints. Even the CEO of Reddit removed r/atheism from the homepage, although he’ll tell you it was for other reasons, he probably just got annoyed.
I used to be religious. My reasons for leaving Catholicism were the traditional routes of watching Daniel Dunnet, The Atheist Experience, and Christopher Hitchens. Something I learned watching debates between Hitchens and D’souza was that the Atheists had the upper hand, they didn’t have to prove anything, in fact the onus was always on the religious. It’s because religion makes a claim, whereas atheism is simply the lack of belief in that claim. But atheists are not without sins, or at least social faux pas. This is the list on how to not be an edgy neck beard atheist.
When someone says God bless
Don’t say “actually, I don’t believe in the Abrahamic religions, or any religion for that matter. They’re all based in lies and exaggerations. Really, there were many gospels which didn’t make the cut but at the time the four main ones were cherry picked by the Roman church.”
Dude, shut up. Just say thank you and walk away. People say bless you when you sneeze based on superstition from when Europe suffered the plague but are you really going to bring that up every time it happens? You are aren’t you…
Facebook posts
When someone posts something about finding God or whatever just leave it be. FB isn’t a place to debate someone. You just want to show off your intellect, besides, who changes their mind based on a FB post? In fact, don’t start any debates on the internet, being a dweeb behind a keyboard who wins an argument is not a win, it’s a stalemate in life.
Always debating
People who are contrarian and are looking for a fight for the sake of a fight piss me off. You believe in one thing, you might be right, but bringing religion up at any point possible makes you look like a desperate one trick pony. Your points are sharpened because it’s all you think about, but your point is useless when jousting at every moving target. Save it for the right time, when someone else starts a discussion.
Stupidity
Too many atheists lurk from Reddit and see the world as devoid of logic and reasoning. Some of them are just idiots on the other side of the religious spectrum. It’s important to know where you lay on bell curve of intellect. I’m aware I’m not the smartest person, that’s how you avoid the dunning kurger effect.
Japanese
Don’t practice Japanese, don’t listen to Japanese Anime because “it sounds better”, you won’t learn to speak it, just stop. Japanese culture has been so fetishized Japanese speaking weebs has outnumbered the Native Japanese. The weebs are probably the reason Japan is so weird to begin with. Can you imagin that, Japan is actually normal, it’s just neck beards who invented tentacle porn and blamed it on our asian palls?
This is a little bit more for the neck beard specific audience but still, don’t learn Japanese unless you are moving to Japan. It’s not a universal language and your ability to know a few words in Naruto does not impress anyone. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Japan now has more weebs speaking Japanese than actual Japanese citizens.
Drop that fucking fedora
Seriously, don’t buy one, not even a stetson. They looked cool in the 40’s but years of pudgy boy skeptics have ruined that image. Unless you’re Matt Bomer from White Collar it makes you look like this meme:
Neck beard
SHAVE THE NECK! Years of stigma have told you to do this yet you ignore it. You have read all of Richard Dawkin’s books and claim to understand string theory, but you can’t shave your neck? You trim your beard and mustache, come on, it’s not that hard and it takes you from a 5.6 to a solid 6.
The J dog
If you watch Jordan B. Peterson, leave his book in your room, which better be clean af.
Doritos and gamer juice
If you are over 21 you are only allowed to drink soda when it’s with Rum. You can drink beer, water, milk, just stay away from Mountain Dew. The idea here is to not look like you just crawled out of a gamer binge with Doritos crumbs and fap crust all over your shirt.
That ends the tips for atheists. To sum it all up: don’t be antagonistic, debate at the appropriate time, improve your physical self, and overall be good. You don’t have to be silent about Atheism, but I don’t want to hear from a walking personification of r/atheism either. Or any religion for that matter.