Is Tinder really worth it? Not really
Where all the hoes at? Everywhere. We’re all the hoes now. And only god is laughing.
According to Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, 56 per cent of 14 to 18-year-olds went out on dates in 2015 whereas for Generation X and Baby Boomers, it was around 85 per cent.
That’s kinda crazy. But it makes sense. You know the saying you can’t have your cake and eat it too? The Zoomers are having all the cake and eating all the ass. Oh yeah, that’s another thing Zoomers love. But that’s second hand fiber, I mean second hand news. Let’s get back to the facts.
Tinder came into the scene and swept everybody away. Dating sites used to be lame, but then someone put one in an app and it became totally cool. Tinder has 50 million lusers world wide. These people aren’t looking for relationships. The game of hitting up the DM’s is not a game of earning a date, it’s a game of getting laid. You only have to put on a face for one night. Then, if it works out you might hook up again, if both of you are bored and horny. It’s commodified sex, something you can get off a shelf.
Dating apps have given us way too many options. Why stick it out in a tough relationship when we have 9 matches on Tinder? We aren’t alone, look how many people are interested in us. It’s kind of like the way we lose our attention more than we used to. We can’t focus on one task anymore because in front of us is 3by 5 inch screen of universal knowledge and facts.
This has led to a few interesting dynamics.
The men are assholes
Assholes generally do better in short term relationships. They are also effective on Tinder. The narcissists know how to market themselves and have very appealing bios. Guys that are generally modest and nice likely won’t want to spend so much time thinking about themselves, it seems weird. The narcissists love it. That’s all they do.
The women are picky
Like I said, the women are matched with better looking dudes. So someone who is a 6 has a range of men to choose from. And boy are they picky. Study shows that women tend not to date below their own attractive level. So that female 6 won’t swipe a 5. She won’t even swipe a 6. That’s right she get’s the cream of the crop. Have a job where you earn as much as her? You just got right swiped.
According to this study it was determined that the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men. “The Gini coefficient for the Tinder economy based on “like” percentages was calculated to be 0.58. This means that the Tinder economy has more inequality than 95.1% of all the world’s national economies.” In short, men date up and down, women date up. The stats don’t give why this is, but we can see it is a standard difference. Guys tend not to care about certain things where women do.
It’s ruined your game
You’re kind of a fucking dork. Don’t lie. You talk a big game and think you can pull in some dates. But when you get to the tinder date at the bar you’re using the same one liners you’ve narrowed down that get just enough of a chuckle to make the date think you’re funny. But anytime you’re out in the real world meeting new people you become an introvert. Maybe you’re even one of those ‘I’m not a people person’ kind of people.
Tinder dating has all the sexual escalation done for you. You don’t have to build it up. We’ll call it sexual rapoirte. Go to a bar and you’ll start talking to a girl or guy and you’ll have to use, gasp, social skills to win their favor. Then, you can chance a flirt which lets you pick up on the tension. And being not a loser, this person would use their experience to gauge the date and know when to make a move.
I know, it sounds hard. But if you don’t do this you’ll be stuck with vapid conversations with a quick lay at the end of the night. If that’s what you want fine, but just know you’re likely not going to create a valid relationship this way. You have to have a real relationship. Telling your kids you met as a hook up 20 years ago sounds pretty lame. “You know son, your mom’s profile said ‘DTF’ and I was all like, “damn girl, okay.” Then we both got matching Live Laugh Love shirts.
And now we’re all pathological
Tinder or Grindr profiles are us at our best. Our best pictures are used. We describe our selves to sound funny and fun. It’s like sending an open application to the world and watching as no one swipes you back after you’ve spent 10 dollars to give extra swipes. This makes dating just one more application to fill out. Please sir, can I have this job? Please ma’am, may I rent your house? Please sir, can I rent a car? Please ma’am, may I have some coochie? It’s like making a Linkedin account all over again, except this time sexy. Applying for jobs is depressing, why do the same to your physical appearance?
Some people are so desperate they’ve resorted to using services such as Photofeeler to have someone else rate them on looks. It slaps a number on you to carry with you in your subconscious. It might be good for some dudes who think they’re a 10 when really they’re a deluded 6.5. But it doesn’t offer any support or real world knowledge, it simply states how fuckable you are to people you’ve never spoken. You are just a bunch of pixels that someone asks themselves “would I bone this pixel blob? Nah.” It overlooks charm, wit, social status, and humor. These are huge factors. We all know some dudes who are ugly but have the hottest girls, not because they were meek enough to have strangers rate them, they didn’t care, they went out and charmed the shit out of someone. Confidence is king in dating. When you’re confident you’re perceived as having all those positive traits people are looking for in a partner.
Tinder is like crack
Your brain feels rewarded when seeing an attractive face, this happens with everyone. When you check for a match and see potential partners, your brain sees the potential and feels rewarded. Soon your brain gets used to this cue and ramps up to the point where just seeing all the hotties on Tinder becomes more pleasurable than actually accomplishing a successful date night.
Unpridictable rewards keep the reward part of the brain all sorts of fricked up, even more than rewards we know are coming. It’s kind of like going to a casino. You may win, you’ll probably not win, but hey, it’s possible. And it’s that potentiality that keeps you coming back. You may lose 20 or 100 times but that 1 win stays with you.
Plus, loneliness serves to exponify the addiction. Lonely people seek other people. These people tend not to fare well on the site as loneliness is a big turn off. 46% of Match.com users reported feeling lonely and unhappy in the dating world. People like confidence and value someone with their own life.
It’s all too easy to stay at home and stay on the internet. When you get off work you can go online and feel a little less lonely. But stop it, you need to go out and meet someone. Porn isn’t real sex and forums aren’t real conversation. At least not the kind people need to be to stop finding loneliness. Sure chat forums can be useful, but don’t replace real visceral interaction with a computer screen. When you see that notification on Tinder pop up on your phone, you get way too excited. Chill out, maybe go to a coffee shop or ask some coworkers to a bar. It doesn’t have to be with the opposite sex, just get out there and make friends.
Japan has a similar problem, as their population is in rapid decline. According to the UN, if the current rate continues Japan will lose 20 million people by 2050, which will have to show it’s toll on their economy. The average age for women that marry is now 30, wheras in 1975 it was 24. The marriage rate has fallen too but so has the reason for getting married to begin with. People are too busy working to save up for dying alone. These people focus super hard on their career, so hard they forget about human interaction, maybe that’s a contributing factor to the suicide rate.
It’s so gonzo over there that the Japanese are hiring actors to be their girlfriend or boyfriend for a day. There are plenty of red light districts in Tokyo too. Foreigners aren’t generally allowed in though so don’t be a weirdo and use whatever phrases you’ve learned from watching Jojo. If you are too lonely you can always get a virtual girlfriend, of which Japan has many. They can turn your home into a smart home too. Japan is kind of like a mix between the movies “Her” and “bladerunner 2049” in that sense.
Tinder can be used as a positive affect or a negative affect, depending on frequency and the amount of time one invests. Go out in the real world too, don’t substitute 1,000’s of years of hooking up for an online anime girl. Make compromises, trade your career for a family if you want. Live your life to it’s fullest. Or get an anime girlfriend. It’s all on you.